I answer the phone myself.

Two are on the north coast, at Batu Ferringhi and Tanjung Bungah. One is at Tanjung Tokong, minutes from Gurney Drive. Two are on the city side — under Penang Hill, and twenty-five floors up at Jelutong. Two more are at Bayan Lepas, near the airport, the university and the factories.

They are all the same shape, and that was on purpose

Three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a kitchen, somewhere to park. I kept choosing that shape because of who kept calling.

A family of nine coming up for the school holidays. A grandmother with three grandchildren. Five engineers in for a shutdown at the plant. Parents down for a graduation at USM who had not seen each other since the last one. Every one of them had the same problem: a hotel sells you a room, and what they needed was a house.

So that is what I buy. Three bedrooms means nobody draws the short straw and sleeps on a sofa. A kitchen means the first morning does not start with finding somewhere that does breakfast for nine. And a car park means one less argument on arrival.

About the names

The year I finished the Bayan Lepas flat, I had been promising everyone a trip to Japan and it did not happen. So I put Mount Fuji across the living room wall instead and called it Fuji Home.

Then there was a sakura wall at Batu Ferringhi, and after that it simply became the thing I do. Every apartment gets somewhere else in the world on a wall somewhere. It costs almost nothing and it is the first thing people photograph when they walk in. Children notice it before the adults do.

What you get by calling me

The rate we agree is the rate. If you need a cot, an extra mattress, an early check-in or a late one, ask me when you book and it will be sorted before you arrive. If you are staying a month, say so and we will talk about a monthly rate, because a month and a weekend are not the same conversation.

And you keep my number for the whole stay. If the wifi drops at nine at night, you are messaging me.